When Waiting for Change to Happen Causes Anxiety

This post is a bit different because I am going to share with you what I am experiencing currently. The last few days have been so nerve-wracking for me. One of the ways to deal with anxiety – because your stress hormones are at their peak – is to write about what is stressing you out, and I have chosen to do it here. We experience unease, worry, and fear for various reasons. There are times when these feelings can be ongoing. When this happens it can make you feel literally sick – as I am feeling at the moment.

My family and I have decided to emigrate from South Africa to England. My husband is British, but the process of applying for a UK Settlement Visa has been such a complex process. Anyone who has made this application before will know just how much. There have been so many times when one thinks that things are all good in terms of requirements, but then there is suddenly something else, some other form to complete. Throughout it all, we keep pushing on to our end goal – one document after the other. However, we have been in the period of waiting for a decision to be taken in respect of our application for 6 weeks now, and have had no communication from the UK Visa Immigration Centre yet. I have also done so much reading of others experiences with this process, which has left me even more anxious. It’s a bit like googling symptoms when you’re feeling unwell, and instead of helping it freaks one out even more. I am trying so hard to hold onto the good news shared by so many despite the wait and tedious experiences to get there eventually. 

These few days have, however, left me feeling completely drained. I have aches and pains in my back, neck, and shoulders, and have tummy cramps that come and go. I feel constantly on edge, unable to relax and am trying so hard not to be tearful all the time. I feel overwhelmed by everything – even by deciding what’s for dinner, and I love cooking!

Despite the constant reassurance from the immigration consulting company that our application is straightforward, no communication yet has me now frequently thinking about the worst case scenario – the rejection of our application. This, when my husband has already left to start his new job in the UK this past week.

Being unsure of an outcome when there is absolutely nothing you can do, when absolutely everything is completely outside of your control and when all you can do is wait until whatever your situation is, is over or resolved is frustrating and can be debilitating. I had forgotten how harmful the impact stress can have on our health. Too many stress hormones can be serious. Be mindful and consider what you’re feeling, deal with your emotions, and do what you need to, to keep going for your sake and those you may be responsible for. Allowing stress to make you feel ill is not worth it. Find ways of dealing with it.

In writing this to get it out, I already feel a bit more grounded rather than edgy. I also found the following quote.

“I will breathe. I will think of solutions. I will not let my worry control me. I will not let my stress level break me. I will simply breathe and it will be okay because I don’t quit.” – Shayne McClendon

Sometimes all one needs is a bit of motivation to carry on. I can usually get there, but at the moment I’m finding it really hard. This quote reminds me that even if it takes longer, we will find a way, and get there eventually, so our family will be reunited, and able to start the new chapter in our life.

So find your way to deal and find your motivation in the difficult times completely outside of your control. Find the inspiration for those close to you also affected by whatever you are experiencing. In my case, I’m needing to not break my children’s excitement about our change that IS coming!

Until next time…

Yours in Adapting & Being


Categories: General

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