Patience is a word so easily used but so often it’s not practiced. I would like to think I am a very patient person, but I can think of so many examples that demonstrates otherwise. I believe it natural to be impatient at times. We are emotional beings and when we feel frustrated, we can be impatient. But it is not helpful when impatience becomes something of a permanent feature. Advertisements
A few days ago I came across an article about a workaholic dad who had lost his 8 year old son. I am always deeply affected by sadness experienced in other’s lives and especially when it includes children. Many of us working parents are stretched for time. We need to keep our busy households going and meet all our work commitments and goals. And as much as we talk about balance, the one thing that often seems most neglected is the quality of our time with our loved ones and how present we are in our interactions with them.
Bad or tough workdays – we all have them. Whether we are out of sorts and Murphy’s Law is ever-present or if someone else at the office is just making your day miserable. I have come across people who think that working in an office is the only way you will have a bad workday. This is simply not true. People working from home or for themselves also have bad workdays. It doesn’t matter who you work for and what you do. Whether you are an office worker, self-employed, a student a housewife or a househusband, we all have had our share of feeling depressed, demotivated and just fed up.
To be authentic is to be genuine, original and real. I have had many interactions where people feel authenticity to self is not an option, given the pressure to be a certain way in our ever-changing world. I, however, believe it more critical than ever before to be your authentic self because of the world we live in. We should adapt to our experiences, situations, and circumstances. The key is to know and decide for ourselves who we are and what we want to be. Demonstrating authentic behaviour is not just speaking about values but acting our values.
Are you the kind of person who always speaks from your heart? Or, are you the kind of person that prefers to keep your honest thoughts and feelings to yourself? Think about a time when you spoke truthfully about something affecting you at home. Then, think about a time when you needed to speak truthfully about what you thought about someone else’s work ethic at the office but you didn’t. What was the outcome?
The world we live in feels to me as if it changes daily. We are surrounded by innovation in a digitally connected world that requires new skills and knowledge in order to be successful. “It is change, continuing change, inevitable change, that is the dominant factor in society today. No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be… This, in turn, means that our statesmen, our businessmen, our everyman must take on a science fictional way of thinking.” – Isaac Asimov
Overly emotional, angry, frustrated, unexplained outbursts, unsettled sleeping or sleepless nights and bedwetting. Any of this sound familiar? Do you experience one or more of these with your child? Perhaps often, if you have a baby or a toddler – not if you have a junior school going child of 9 years or older. This is what my husband and I have experienced with our daughter over the past two years. We had no idea that it was related to performance anxiety at school, or that she had a learning difficulty. It had been for a while that our daughter was struggling with Maths at school. Despite English being her first language, she was starting to battle with this as well. Despite her overall adequate understanding of number concepts and operations, she struggled to always apply her knowledge to word sums. And, she was spelling most words phonetically, and therefore struggled to spell words with silent letters (guess), double letters (bottle, press) and other sight words not spelt phonetically (watch, careless, charge).
My mom was a single mom from the very first day I was born. My dad was not a constant in our lives, and would drift in and out of our lives every few years. I lived with my mom and grandparents until the age of 7, when my grandfather died. After this, it was my mom, grandmother and I until I left home at 23 years old. During this time, my mother’s younger brother also stayed with us for a short period. My mom worked full time, so I spent most of my days with my grandmother. In many ways I viewed my grandmother as my mom. Many people actually thought she was my mom.
In our busy lives, so many of us feel physically and psychologically drained. This is a result of both our personal or professional lives, and let’s be honest, the one directly impacts the other. Often we are so overwhelmed by having to give so much of ourselves that we have no time to just be. And then, if you are the self-critic, you never feel adequate or satisfied by what you give or do. The result is burn-out, anxiety, stress and depression. I will share a bit about what I believe causes this in the workplace, some of my experiences, and my advice. I hope you find it helpful.
Are you conflict averse? Do you avoid having difficult conversations? Nobody likes conflict, but there are times when it is needed and times when it is unavoidable. Having a difficult conversation can be uncomfortable and awkward. I believe the fundamentals for having difficult conversations are: Being able to listen by giving another your fullest attention. Listening to understand, and with empathy. Being able to negotiate, and compromise when need be. Be sure of the facts, and when you discover you are wrong, admit it, and apologise. Be assertive, and frank when you need to be. Act with integrity. Be authentic, and true to you. This is the first of a two-part blog series where I will be sharing some experiences I have had in family, parenting and especially the workplace. Part 1 is about difficult conversations related to family and parenting. Not all conflicts need addressing. There are times when it’s better to just let something go. Be honest with yourself about what you feel, and what you need to do to move on. If it relates to something within your control, and is something that is important to you, find the courage to have difficult conversations, and not be conflict averse.